Believe · Act · Breathe

1) The first gulp of water after a long run 
2) The way my father surprises my mother with items she thought she had lost 
3) People with passion strong enough to impact change 
4) Words that make you want to be a better person 
5) The way the roads gleam after the rain 

I want so badly to be able to play the keyboard, write a novel, remember that the soul would naturally gravitate towards pain (and that we should do all we can to flee from our natural state), meditate for more than 5 minutes without fidgeting... and to seek fulfilment in every possible way. 

Lately it seems all I've been wanting is my own personal growth. Shame

Wow. This girl was my role model for the longest time hehe. Fine, maybe I was a complete lame-ass growing up. Man.

And so my last paper ends, signifying the end of my first year in university. 

It's odd. I would've expected to feel unbridled joy as I handed up my paper. But no, my arch nemesis aka stats always leaves me with a pit of uncomfortable tension. Almost broke down + felt like puking + wanted to rip the paper in shreds during the middle portion of the paper but I held back and reminded myself that this is all part of the learning process. 

Sometimes it gets tiring to have to swallow my own positivity. 

But anyway. 

I'm welcoming the holidays with open arms! I plan to be as selfish and unproductive as I possibly can- that means days of laying in bed, eating ice cream and living off le parents' kindness (and money). I also want to sort out a few things that I've been ignoring- like how to maintain a social circle of more than 2 friends without hurting myself and the people around me, how to bake bread and how to project my dreams and ambitions to my unborn niece. 

I also have to re-arrange my room, shop for new bedsheets, sort out my photos (scrap-booking!!) and create a new diet plan for le diabetic mother. And sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep. Embrace the fact that I do not have to squeeze in the smelly train for the next 3 months or so. Spend time with the people who matter. And sleep. 

Wow so many things to do. I'll start with sleep! 

Have a good one, you guyz. If the horror of examinations are not over yet, HANG IN DERE. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger~ 

Next time I need to do some creative writing, please remind me to sit down and attempt to understand some stats. In the span of 1 hour, my thoughts travelled from wanting to set up my own business (which, if you have been talking to me, is a JOKE, because the one biz mod I had to take, I hated. Intensely.) to questioning the existence of school. 

But anyway. That aside, me cantz waitz to finishz me laz paper woohoo! Woo hoo! Woo hooooooooooooo! And if by some stroke of luck I do not have to repeat this module, IT IS THE LAST TIME IMMA BE TAKING STATISTICS HA HA HA TAKE THAT ALL YOU PEOPLE WHO INSIST I ONLY HAVE A RIGHT BRAIN. 

Oh no. I tricked myself into believing that. While I was doing stats. 

Anyway. I'm going to be taking a long break from the net after my paper. Something about the internet turns me into a psycho and I shall wander in the realm of ignorance for a bit.. maybe then I'll regain some strength... and sanity. Raurau, James and I have been camping in the library for the past week and I'm dying to vacate my uncomfortable table for a sofa... to do some leisure reading. 

Leisure reading. Wow. Shivers down my spine, right there. 

Stay strong, troupers! We'll survive this <3 <3 <3